


Just a little nervous.

by tendertracob



Category: Video Blogging RPF, Youtube RPF
Genre: M/M, first live show, troye on tour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-24
Updated: 2015-10-24
Packaged: 2018-04-27 22:45:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5067511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tendertracob/pseuds/tendertracob
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The slow rumbling of nerves bubbles in his stomach as he felt his chest tighten, anxious thoughts were beginning to fill up his mind and he was toying the idea of just walking out; abandoning his set and escaping all his fears."<br/>-<br/>"He let his head fall back onto Connors shoulder, the soft fabric from his hoodie providing the feeling of warmth to spread over his senses. The green eyed boy placed a chaste kiss on his lips and gave him a small smile, nuzzling the side of his nose into his neck.<br/>“Stop worrying, you’re going to do amazing” soft lips pressed against his neck as he hummed in appreciation."</p><p>or the one where Troye is super nervous for his first live show and Connor helps him through it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just a little nervous.

**Author's Note:**

> Here’s a oneshot because I had a double free the other morning when I was supposed to be working on my Natural Law essay.  
> I know I was supposed to update my other story like 2 months ago but I didn’t expect so much work to come in right at the start of the year. Word of advice, don’t do 4 fucking A-Levels ://  
> I’m on Halloween break now so hopefully I’ll get it finished, I have 2k words wrote so far of the next chapter!

The slow rumbling of nerves bubbles in his stomach as he felt his chest tighten, anxious thoughts were beginning to fill up his mind and he was toying the idea of just walking out; abandoning his set and escaping all his fears. The bright lights hanging off the ceiling sent shivers down his spine, dreaded memories of when he was 14 floating into his head.

-

_“Now introducing, Troye Mellet.”_

_His lanky legs carried him confidently across the stage, the crowd cheering as his smiling cheeks shone beamingly on the large projected screen behind him. He was used to this by now, the crowds, the overwhelmingly bright lights. He was at home._

_Not only did the stage feel like home for him, but it also felt like a way to get away from his actual home. A place where he could escape all teenage anxiety and just let his worries out in the form of notes and breaths._

_With a flick of his hand, he motioned to the sound guy back stage to start up his track, it was one of his favourites. “Nedudim” was a nice little Hebrew song. His mum used to sing it to him when he was a baby, lulling him into sleep on the long summer nights._

_His voice delivered the soft notes of the song without a hitch, eyes closing as he felt the music flow all around him. It was like he was in a dream; he was drifting through the air and letting the melodious tones of the piano instrumental raise him up, off into a little world of his own._

_All dreams have to come to an end though._

_The chorus was fast approaching and his voice sang out the words loudly, building up the momentum of the song. Just as the climax was about to hit, he heard a croaking sound, only realising a second later that it had come from his own mouth. His eyes shot open as quick as a flash and he was brought crashing down from his sanctuary. He cleared his throat and tried again, desperately trying to get his footing on the song again. His eyes never left the floor, he was too afraid to see the disappointed looks on the faces of the audience. His voice wavered once again; causing him to stop singing altogether, his head began to feel light as his vision got blurry and disorientated._

_He couldn’t think, he couldn’t feel. All he had registered was that one moment he was standing still on the stage, not moving or speaking a word, the next he was outside of the building, leaving only the loud sound of the mic hitting the floor in his wake._

_-_

His memories dissipated as he felt a soft touch on the side of his waist, feeling the arm tighten and pull him closer to the stranger’s chest. This was no stranger though, this was Connor. _His_ Connor. The Connor who went to the tour meeting with him, the boy who held his hand tightly when his producer told him he would have to start touring soon.

He let his head fall back onto Connors shoulder, the soft fabric from his hoodie providing the feeling of warmth to spread over his senses. The green eyed boy placed a chaste kiss on his lips and gave him a small smile, nuzzling the side of his nose into his neck.

“Stop worrying, you’re going to do amazing” soft lips pressed against his neck as he hummed in appreciation.

“So you keep saying. I don’t think I’ll ever not be scared to perform. Even after countless practises. I feel like it-it’s going to happen again”

“I can’t promise you it won’t happen again, but I can _swear_ to you that I will be there to catch you if you fall. But I doubt you will”

He lifted his head from Connors shoulder and tilted his head to the side. Feeling the giddy butterflies swirling in his stomach. Connor always had this effect on him.

His thoughts were a whirlwind at this point, but by far the dominate thing going through his mind was _“I think I’ve already fallen”_.

-

He knew he was being unreasonable, but yet he couldn’t stop the tears from piercing his eyes. This would never be easy, saying goodbye. Even if it was only for a day or two. He had gotten accustomed to the older boy; walking in step with him everywhere, it was a rare sight to see one without the other.

So when he had to stand there at the door of the venue, watching Connor leave, he couldn’t help but feel slightly upset. A few months ago the leader of an art program reached out to Connor and asked if he would sponsor one of the teams. Connor, being the obviously creative person he is, agreed wholeheartedly to be a part of the program. Even before the tour had been arranged, the producer of the program had contacted Connor and told him he had to go to Texas to be a part of the live stream. Of course the older boy offered to cancel his plans in order to be with him in which Troye profusely refused.

After a lot of relentless negotiating, they had decided that Connor would fly out to Seattle with Troye, then later on in the day he would fly to Texas. His reasoning being that it was Troye’s first show, so _of course_ he had to be there to support him.

After the final practise of the day they went out for lunch then drove back to the venue, watching the stage directors getting the set of his show all built and prepared. The set was simple, just 3 bright blue outlines of houses, at the time Connor called it very ‘Blue neighbourhood-esque’ which made his heart flutter. Time flew after that and soon it was 6pm, and time for Connor to drive to the airport. Connors sweet words to him filled his mind as he anxiously made his way back inside the building.

“Good luck at the show babe. You probably won’t need it though”

“I love you”

His phone vibrated in his pocket, he pulled it out curiously and turned the device on.

_Miss you already <3_

His heart leapt as he glanced at the message, of course Connor would do this. Get him all flustered before the show. He typed back an equally love-sick message and shut off his phone; his heart longing to be with Connor again.

-

He could hear it. The screams and cheers. He hadn’t even went out on stage yet, but still the fans were so loud you would probably be able to hear them from the next street over. He subtly peeked out of the far end of the curtain and gazed upon his audience. There weren’t that many people, but the venue was so small it made the audience look far more intimidating that it should be. Some fans were holding up signs saying the sweetest things whilst others were sporting their newly bought WILD jumpers. The sight made his chest tighten with affection and a blush to paint his cheeks. He really was lucky.

He walked away from the curtain and began to pace up and down anxiously. There was no denying he was nervous, nauseous even. He was so scared of disappointing his fans, they were probably expecting so much. Throughout the years his audience has done a great deal for him; all he could do was hope that he would live up to the high standards they hold to him.

A loud shouting of his name across the room caused him to turn his head, standing there was the stage director; a water bottle and clipboard in hand. He strode over to him swiftly and smiled at him, giving him a sign to continue what he was saying.

“You’re on in 5 minutes, here’s some water, good luck!”

A few seconds later he was left with a bottle in his shaking hands and a racing heart. He glanced over to the audience again, seeing them jam out to the local DJ made him smile, they all looked so excited. Even the thought that they were all here for him still brought on a shock to his system, how could he, a small boy from Perth, have an impact on millions? It blew his mind.

With shaky legs he carried himself onto the stage as soon as he saw that all the DJ equipment was taken away, he glanced behind him and nodded to accomplices, who looked just as nervous as him. The fans were going wild at this point, their arms were flying into the air excitedly towards Troye and he had to physically bite back a smile at their anticipation.

_They are all here for you._

With this thought in his mind he walked up to the microphone and gripped the base of the stand tightly, letting his mouth ghost over the top of the metal device. He suddenly felt slightly self-conscious as all eyes landed on him, waiting.

“um.. hey guys! This is my first live show in a long time and I’m glad I get to share this experience with you guys! I honestly just want to say that I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you.. and yeah.. – I hope you enjoy the show!”

He repositioned his stance until he was standing slightly to the left of the mic, letting his hand trail up the stand to meet the other, so both of them were gripping the base of the microphone. As soon as he heard the familiar beat resonate in the room he let his lips ghost over the mic once again and began to sing the first line.

“ _Kiss me on the mouth and set me free~Sing me like a choir..”_

It didn’t take long for Troye to forget most of his fears and just let himself go in front of the audience. His whole body swayed to the music and he felt light and airy by the end of the show. The music was delivered perfectly and Troye was left back stage with ringing ears and a joyful smile etched onto his lips. His cheeks was starting to hurt at how wide he had been smiling. The crowd was so attentive the whole time, and there were only 2 moments where they didn’t sing alone; and even then it was due to the songs not being released yet.

A weird emptiness pooled in his chest as he looked around and saw the staff rushing around trying to get everything wrapped up. Words were just itching to explode out of his mouth and all he wanted was to spill all these rabid thoughts out of his mind. At this point he would probably settle for a random person on the street to vent to.

However he didn’t want a random stranger to talk to, he wanted Connor. He reached behind him and pulled out his phone from his back pocket; immediately being greeted by tons of messages from Connor.

**9:23** _omg omg people are posting videos on twitter_

**9.23** _you look hot on stage btw_

**9.24** _awhh, everyone was singing along during talk me down, are u okay??_

**9.24** _literally so proud right now u have no idea_

**9.30** _nevermind me, just sitting in a hotel room crying cos my boyfriend is so talented and famous like wtf_

**9.31** _I really cant wait to see you in san fran_

**9.35** _KISSINNN UPP ONN FEENCCESS ANNDD UPP ONN WALLS <3 <3 <3_

**9.43** _I really love the acoustic of hlp, its so pretty.. just like u_

**9.43** _that was really cheesy please ignore I said that_

**9.45** _u are cute though_

**9.50** _I need to sleep cos I have the stream tomorrow and we are starting early_

**9.50** _if you are still up call me, im getting up at like 7isshhhh I think_

**9.51** _you better not stay up just to call me, get some sleeeppp tro_

**9.53** _I love you <3 <3 <3_

Someday this boy is going to be death of him. He was pretty sure his face was bright red at this point and the happy feelings were swirling within him once again, it felt good that he knew Connor was probably freaking out as much, if not more. Still Troye felt kind of empty and lost without having Connor by his side, being apart was always hard and will probably never be easy.

As soon as he arrived back at his hotel room he changed into some comfy sleeping clothes and strolled over to the bed; keeping his phone close beside him. He dreamt of clouds that night, he was floating and floating and nothing could bring him down.

…and Troye totally didn’t set an alarm for 4.50am so he could skype Connor as soon as he woke up, because that would be absurd.


End file.
